So I’ve been doing a bit of travel lately, mostly for work, adding in a little fun. The idea for this topic hit me again while in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago for a conference. This was the week before the season premier of Game of Thrones. While walking down the strip the famous water show was about to start at the Bellagio. At this time they had changed the theme and production to be Game of Thrones related. I have to admit very cool. However as I’m watching this pretty cool light/fountain/fire show I look at all the people who are watching this and a large percentage have their phones out recording. I understand, it’s cool and you want to remember it. The problem is that in order to record it correctly with your phone you have to be looking at the screen of your phone, to make sure that you are recording what you want to record. At the point you’re watching the screen of your phone that is recording the show, aren’t you basically just watching your phone? So why watch it live at all? Go to YouTube and watch someone else’s recording since that is the same thing. Stop making a recording that you will likely never watch again. And even if you do would you rather watch it on your phone 3 times or really watch it once in person? I’d rather really watch it in person.

The first time I started noticing this was when I was at a concert. Which one? Not sure because the same thing happens at all concerts. Your favorite song by your favorite artist comes on, and you’re in the same airspace as that artist and you do what? Stare at your phone watching the artist. What a waste. You can watch YouTube videos anytime of that song, you can’t watch and listen live any day. Who knows, this could be your only chance ever to witness this in person. That artist could retire, or decide to not tour again, or get caught as a lip-syncing fraud or you could lose your hearing or any number of other scenarios. Why waste that possibly only chance to see or hear something amazing recording it on your damn phone? Stop and enjoy the moment.

A few years ago I made a new years resolution as I do every year. I don’t do the same as everyone else… I’m going to the gym, quitting drinking, be a better person crap. I try to find a little thing that will improve my life or truly make me a better person. So that year in particular I made the resolution to enjoy life and the moments in it. Stop and smell the roses as they say. Take time to appreciate things. I wanted to live in the moment. Whatever that moment is I wanted to care about that moment. I try to never say the words “I can’t wait for….” or “I’m looking forward to…”. I think that if you are always looking forward to the weekend or the beach trip or the upcoming concert or your wedding or whatever that you will miss the important stuff along the way. It’s like the movie Click when Adam Sandler’s character could fast forward but never rewind. Sure it was great to fast forward past a shitty day at work or to the party on the weekend but he realized at the end that all he did was miss the good stuff always looking (and in this case skipping) forward to the next big event. Of course we are all excited by the summer vacation we have planned or a big party next weekend but if we spend all our time looking forward we miss the good stuff that happens every day.

I am lucky enough to have a pretty good life and I get to travel and do fun stuff. If I were always looking forward to the next thing I would skip my way through life. I love the game of golf. I get to play some really cool courses from time to time. Do I like playing those bucket list courses? Hell yeah I do. I also like playing the shit courses. If I only looked forward to the best courses I would miss some of the fun and joy (and frustration) of the courses I play every week.

My whole point to this blog is to just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the time with your friends and family. Enjoy the place you are in. Take in the sights and smells, the way the sun feels or the music sounds. Record the moment with your mind, not your phone. If someone says “man I wish you had that on video”, paint them the picture. You will remember being there forever, long after that phone and that video are gone. Experience life in person, all the big moments and the little ones. At the end of our days we will have those memories and the knowledge that we truly enjoyed all the moments in life instead of watching them through the little screen on your phone.

So it looks like I’ve not done a blog post in about, oh, 9 months. My bad. It’s not because I haven’t had things to say, I just haven’t taken the time to put it in this blog. I sat down here tonight and decided I wanted to add a blog. I didn’t have a plan as to what about, but I knew I wanted to write something. So I started by re-reading my previous 2 blog posts. I wondered what the me of 9 months ago had to say. I will say I’m impressed that 9 months ago me did a pretty good job on the first couple posts.

There have been some exciting changes in my life since I was last on here. I plan to write about much of it, but here are a few things that have changed: Hailey got engaged, I decided to get healthier and have lost 20 pounds so far, we bought a house at Fripp island, business keeps getting better and I keep working less, lots of travel coming up and I have a couple big business ideas I am constantly working on in my head.

I just realized I am easily distracted. Not that I didn’t already know this, but I was sitting here contemplating my next words and I found myself clicking through other pages and tabs on my 2 screens instead of starting the next paragraph. So I closed all the other tabs (well minimized anyway) so that I could focus. I used to think that I was a good multi-tasker. I also thought that this was a good skill to have. I suppose it can be in some areas, and may be necessary in many situations but I’ve come to realize that it usually leads to not being productive.  Too often when you try to do 3 things at once, none of them ever gets completed or they all get done but in an amount of time way longer than should have taken, or lastly they all get done poorly. I find that getting one task done at a time without even thinking about the others is a better plan, at least for me.

I just made myself a cup of coffee, black. I’ve never been a black coffee drinker, but I am starting to like it this way. I always wanted to drink black coffee because I thought it was kinda bad ass. I’m not sure why, but I guess black coffee always seemed edgy and bitter and raw and the people who could drink it this way seemed to be the same way. Like when someone orders tequila with no fruit or salt. I started on the black coffee to comply with my fasting diet. In the fall of last year we went to long island to visit Amy’s other side of the family and my sister in law Jeanna told me about a book she had recently read, called “the fast diet”. Diets never worked for me, for likely the same reason they don’t work for most people, they suck. Any diet that says I can’t have bread anymore or fried foods or red meat or alcohol or anything else will never work for me because I like food too much. The basics of the “diet” is this; 5 days a week eat and drink as normal. The other 2 days, any 2 days you pick, restrict calories to 600 max for the day (500 for ladies). This is not easy in the beginning. Its sometimes not easy now, after about 5 months of doing it. It wasn’t easy today. But back in the fall I peaked out at 205 pounds, the heaviest I’ve ever been. Like many people, the weight just came along a couple pounds a year, over the past 20 or so years. Before you know it you’re at a a weight you never thought you’d get to and getting rid of it is hard. So I read this book and it just made sense to me. I can live my life like normal most of the time. 2 days a week, of my choosing, I have to behave and eat very little. I go as long into the day as I can without food, or calories at all, then I eat 1 meal with no more than 600 calories. This where the switch to black coffee came from. Adding cream to my coffee was starting my day with calories, and wasting those precious calories on creamer instead of another ounce or 2 of chicken wasn’t worth it, plus to be truly getting to a fasted state required no calories. So I made the switch to black coffee and I like it. A typical fast day has me taking in no calories till dinner, around 6 or 7. This dinner usually consists of a lean meat, like chicken, salmon, pork loin, shrimp, a pile of veggies and maybe some salad. I feel better eating like this. My normal days to fast are Monday and Thursday, right after the weekend and right before. The weekends are usually filled with good food and beers, so I look forward to my Monday fast days as a way to kinda detox from the weekend. It’s not always easy though. Today is a Monday, my normal fast day. I had a fund raising golf tournament to play in today, complete with pulled pork lunch and free beer. And I couldn’t have it. I could have switched my fast day to tomorrow but I have to fast tomorrow too, because Wednesday we leave for Las Vegas and the last thing anyone wants to do in Vegas is be restricted in any way. So I fasted today, drank no beer and I will do the same tomorrow and then come Wednesday I will be ready for endless red bull and vodkas, washed down with beers and steak and pizza and everything else I can get my hands on. Then next week I will reset on Monday and week after week I am able to drop lbs. So I am down to 185 lbs, a number not seen since at least 10 years ago, maybe closer to 15. I am not sure what my goal weight is, probably 175. But more important than the number on the scale is the way I feel. I snore less. I sleep better. I am not winded putting on my shoes. I feel lighter. I am crushing the golf ball farther than ever. I know that based on the science of fasting and the benefits to the body I have a lower chance of heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke and cancer. These things make me excited. I am 42 now and have to assume I am near the mid point of my expected years on earth. Cancer is everywhere. Seems like everyone takes medication for diabetes or high blood pressure. I take no medications but I was close and would have to be on some had I not taken action to change my habits. I had a life insurance exam maybe 2 years ago and was told my blood pressure was higher than normal. It made my rate for the coverage not in the preferred tier. This was the first kick in the nuts that made me start thinking. The next was my weight that slowly kept creeping up. I never wanted to cross the 200 weight threshold. I would hover at 198 or 199 and I thought, “I’m still under 200”. Then one day I wasn’t. My size 34 pants were getting tight. Some of my size 34’s I was avoiding. I told myself I wouldn’t go to 36’s. I had way too much invested in size 34’s to start over with the next size up. So it was time for a change, but I didn’t know how until I read the fast diet. For the first time in my life this made sense. I always used to joke and say i was going to write a diet book, called “don’t eat so much fat-ass”. Inside would be one sentence that said “put less food in your mouth”. I felt, and still feel, that portion sizes are the biggest problem with american diet (though processed food and chemicals are a very close second).

So I have traveled down this path of fasting twice a week almost every single week since about October, minus a couple weeks around the holiday. My wife has been a big help in this and we have helped keep each other on this path of getting healthier. I plan to grow old with her, in better than average health. We are doing a tough mudder challenge this year. The 5 or so months of doing this is the longest, by far, I have ever stuck with any process of losing weight/getting healthier.

I am still not happy with my gut. It’s proving to be tougher to lose than I expected. The sad and scary part is when I look at myself now at 185 pounds and am still frustrated by my gut, how bad was it at 205?  I should never know because I am never going back to 205, so it doesn’t matter.

I think we all need to do a better job of taking care of ourselves. It has become too easy to just take a medication for this or that instead of really doing what it takes to fix ourselves naturally. Our bodies are strong and resilient. No matter how much we’ve let ourselves go we can recover and get healthy. It’s amazing really. For me the kick in the ass I needed was in my pants size. For others it may be just knowing that there are things you want to do and experiences left to experience that motivates you to do better. I want to live a long life. I plan to do big things, to see the whole world, to have laughs with grand-kids and hopefully great grand-kids eventually. In order to do all these things in life I have to be healthy enough to live a long time and not in a wheel chair or on a respirator or just too fat and lazy to get around.

I am excited to read this post months into the future and see how much I have progressed.

I just got back from a week long vacation with my wife’s family. They are amazing people and have welcomed me into their lives as if I was always a part of the family. More about family in a future post. We went to Fripp Island SC. This is probably one of the best places to be in the whole world. It’s a small private island and nature preserve. It’s beautiful and amazing.

This is most peoples vacation reality: save up some money (or use a credit card), load up the car with beach chairs, towels, food and drink and head off to some beach somewhere, spend 1 day out of your week driving, unpacking, setting up and trying to relax at the end of that day from a stressful day of travel and set up. Then you spend the week having fun, drinking too much, trying to cram a summers worth of fun into a week. All the while knowing in the back of your mind that you have only have 4 days left, then 3, then 2 and then you’re eating all the leftovers, gathering dirty laundry, getting packed up so you can check out early in the morning. By the time you really start to relax, if you ever do, it’s time to get ready to go home and back to work, so you can work the next 51 weeks and do it all over again. Bullshit. This sucks. The vacation doesn’t suck, the whole process sucks. I’m not sure how we as a society have decided that this is okay. I don’t. You shouldn’t either. No one should. Vacation should last longer and be more relaxing. It doesn’t even have to be about vacation, but we all need time to relax and reflect, to really get to know our spouses and kids and parents and siblings.

What if you only get 1 week of vacation? That’s a problem, I get it. There are ways to make changes if what you want is more free time. Maybe a different career is needed. Maybe a different company in the same career is needed. Maybe you can work from home some, more, or always. It’s a fact that most people can be more productive working from home. If you have young kids you can’t escape at home, this might not be the case. Discipline is what it takes to be productive from home. Not everyone has it. I don’t always. I used to work for a large mortgage company. I was paid well (overpaid if I’m being honest). I thought I worked hard, put in long hours and could never take days off. I had 3 or maybe more weeks of vacation time, but it was a joke. I was a commissioned salesperson. If I took 2 weeks off and didn’t work then the next month or 2 worth of paychecks would be affected, so I never took vacation. Looking back on those days I could have “done it all different”. I was at the office too many hours. I had a phone stuck to ear all the time. I was available 24 hours a day to my customers. Some of this made me successful. Most of it made me feel like I was doing what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to be a slave to the job, chasing the 15 or 20 or 30k commission checks. And so I did. I made big commission checks and subsequently spent them as fast as they came in, for there was always another one coming next month. I bought nice stuff, nice clothes, I had big bar tabs, I gave away a lot in a divorce, I wasted it. Even when I had free time or went out with friends, I stopped to take calls nonstop. Luckily this was just as blackberry’s were becoming a thing and I didn’t have access to my email all the time or I would have never taken my eyes off my phone. This was both the best job and worst job of my working life. I made more money than I should have been able to make, but I missed a lot. I can remember being at my daughters softball games and sitting on the bleachers discussing a deal with a customer, walking away and missing 20 minutes of the practice or game because that deal couldn’t wait. But it could have. And it should have. I could have ignored that call. Or answered and said “i’m at my daughters game, call you in an hour”, but I didn’t. I chose to never miss a deal, to make as much money as possible. Why? (I sit here pondering this). I don’t have a good reason. Some is because I’m competitive, I wanted my name at the top of the list. Some is greed, I wanted to see a stupid amount being direct deposited into my account. Some was pride, I didn’t grow up with much, I had no degree, so to know I made more than the average lawyer or doctor was thrilling, made me feel accomplished.

Back to how this ties in to vacation. I look back now and know I could done it all different. I could have still made way more than the average person and walked out the door at 5 or 6 and returned calls in the morning. Sure I would have lost some deals, but I would have enjoyed my off work time more. I could have prioritized my time more. Just as I wasted checks, I wasted my day at the office. I wasn’t the first one in. I’d check in and then take a ride to Starbucks. I’d take a long lunch and have beers with the guys. I’d sit outside with the smokers taking smoke breaks (even though I didn’t smoke). If I’m being honest and looking back, I didn’t actually work that many hours. Some days I did, most days not so much. I was just there, feeling like I was working, showing my managers I was putting in the time. If I was truly focused I could have done everything in a few hours a day. I could have worked remote. I would have gotten more done in less time. I could have trained my customers on what to expect from me and how quickly. I wish I had read then what turned out to be my favorite book and has changed my life forever, The 4 hour work week by Tim Ferriss. One big part of that book teaches you how to accomplish working remote, even if your company doesn’t currently allow it. If I could have setup remote work I could have done it from anywhere. I could have lived at the beach, taking calls and emails from a beach chair looking at the ocean. I could have scheduled my day so I could be active, volunteer, spend more time with my daughter, meditate or whatever.

Vacation is supposed to be relaxing, but for many I don’t think it truly is. We go through life and do what we are supposed to do, to think how we are supposed to think because that’s how everyone else thinks. It’s normal to get 1 week a year to take off, because that’s what we imagine or know everyone else to be doing. Not me. I’m not falling into this trap. And you don’t have to either. Find a way to take more time for yourself. Maybe you have to change jobs, okay. Would that be the worst thing ever? If you made a little less but had more free time, would it be worth it? If you could get the job that you do in 40 or 50 hours done in 15 or 20 by working from home, would it be worth it, even if you made a little less? I think so.

I have many things I want to write about, but these 2 things make sense to mention now briefly on this topic. I don’t believe in an afterlife, this is what we have. Hopefully 70-90 years on this earth, but could be way less, why waste it all working and planning for the future? That future may never come, enjoy life NOW.

If you ask an older person what they regret, I bet most will tell you they regret not taking the time they had and enjoying life and their families. If you think about your own life and where you see yourself at the end of it, ask what you think you will regret. The only way to not regret those things is to make those changes now so they aren’t regrets later in life. For me up until recently my biggest regret has been working too much, missing important parts of life because I was chasing “stuff”. Slow down, relax, don’t work so much, take more vacations or at least time for yourself and family.

We can all do it if we’re willing to stop thinking like everyone else, giving in that this is just how it’s all supposed to work. I don’t believe it is. Make the changes you must to enjoy life now. Don’t fall for the promise or idea of golden years and getting to do what you want in retirement, that time may not come. Do life different than the rest starting now.

I decided to start this blog for a couple reasons. I feel like putting thoughts on paper, or in written form, is good for the soul. It helps you see what you think. It lets you reread your thoughts from an earlier time. It lets others get a glimpse of what you’re thinking and more than just what you’re thinking but why.

A second reason I am writing this is to organize my thoughts. I picked the name “do it all different” for a reason. I find that I look at things, almost all things, differently than most. Or at least in my mind differently than I imagine others see them. I think too many people accept the status quo. They are OK with doing things like their parents. Or like they see on reality TV. Or the way they think they are supposed to. I plan to write about lots of different topics, but a big focus for me is centered around work. I have always found the idea of working 5 days to get a weekend off is bullshit. I think working from the age of 15 or 16 till the age of 65 or 70 is also bullshit. So is working 50 or 51 weeks out of the year with only a little time to vacation or relax or spend time with those you love. I will delve deep in to this topic I imagine more than a few times.

As for what this blog will look like, I have no idea. I don’t read blogs. I have, but very rarely. I don’t know what a blog is supposed to be. But then again, with a blog entitled “do it all different” I’m not sure I want to know how others do blogs. I don’t care how it’s “supposed” to be done. I’m going to put my thoughts on paper (the screen) and see where it leads me. Are people going to read this? No idea. I don’t even know if I want people to. I am going to talk about my past, my upbringing, my fast start in life, my successes and failures, ups and downs. I am going to talk about the things I see people doing on a daily basis that I think is stupid and backwards. I think people are zombies in a sense, going through life, chasing the next car or purse or golf club (I am guilty of 2 out of 3 of these). We grow up with this notion that you’re supposed to get an education, start a career, get married, have kids, put money in your 401k, retire when it’s too late to really do what you want to do and hope you don’t completely run out of money before you die. F**k that. I don’t subscribe to this plan. This will be a lot about my desire to not live like everyone else.

I don’t know how often I will write. Some will be short, others a rambling mess. I will swear because I do in real life, but I will try to keep it to a minimum and only when needed out of respect for my mom and mother-in-law in case they ever read these. I might upload some pictures. I will not do any poetry. I will likely offend some people, maybe even some I love, but not on purpose. I may make some grammatical mistakes, but I will try not to. I might become obsessed with writing. I tend to do that, get obsessed with something new. I often will go all out into something new to me for a time then it fizzles out. I think golf is maybe the exception to this so far in life. I find that golf challenges me forever, it’s a cruel sport that can never be mastered. I love playing and even practicing. Blogging/writing might be similar in that I believe there to be an unlimited number of things I can write about. I have 41 years of life to talk about and the next 41 (or hopefully more) years to prepare for. I almost said plan for, but you can’t really plan life. You think you are making plans and then something changes, so all you can do is prepare for life, try to be versatile and ready for whatever. I’m not a planner, never have been. I’m not a total spur of the moment person either. I have an idea of what I think might or should happen, but no road map to get there.

I am excited about this new project. I think it will teach me things about myself as I think on them more logically. It might be fun. I have often felt like I have all these ideas and thoughts and criticisms and questions bouncing around in my head that need to be let out. When I wake in the morning I most often cannot go back to sleep because my mind starts going. sometimes about work stuff, sometimes about things to do that day, sometimes about a book I wanted to read or song I can’t get out of my head or something I forgot to get done the day before. I hope that by letting thoughts flow to the screen I can free my mind of some of the stuff on my mind. It probably won’t work, now I will wake up with ideas of something to write about or what I should have written different the last time, or why I can’t get rid of my slice off the tee.

No matter what, I will stick with this at least for a while to see if I can articulate my thoughts onto the screen.

And so my journey begins….

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton