In my previous entries I talk about chugging along without a destination. I also talk about how much my life is good and I have much to be thankful for. I find myself in a weird place lately, a really good, but weird place. Let me explain.
Life is good. It’s spring (not officially yet) in NC and was a beautiful 81 degrees or so today. I played golf. I also played yesterday and I’m playing tomorrow. I’m also playing Sunday again. Then, next Wednesday I’m heading to Fripp with 3 buddies to play as much golf as my older-by-the-day body can handle. My business, Absolute Recovery, is doing great. We set an all time company record last month in the shortest month of the year. Financially all is good, better than ever in fact. Covid seems to be moving into the rearview, partially I think due to the distraction of Russia/Ukraine and partially because everyone is just sick of it all and ready to move on. It seems that we will be enjoying maskless concerts without negative tests or vax cards. Hopefully soon we will be flying again without masks and this whole “pandemic” will be behind us. All those I care about are healthy and doing good. And my grandson is an awesome little dude, so happy to be a grandpa.
Not everything is perfect though. The cost of damn near everything is up. Interest rates are rising. The stock market and housing market seem to be inflated, with a correction likely coming. But even still, things are good.
So I should be skipping along happy and not worrying about much right? Well yeah, I am, sorta. I have written about my desire to start more companies and to do big things. Where I find myself in this weird place is not having any kind of end game or destination. I like nice things, I love cars, and golf, and travel. I also want to simplify life. I don’t know how to do both, maybe it’s not possible.
I feel like i can grow my company and hit bigger numbers and make more money, but with what goal in mind? I feel like I need a stopping point, a destination. Something like, have your house paid off, no other debts and X number of dollars in the bank (or invested or in assets). If I knew that number or had that exact vision then I could work toward that. I could make whatever number happen I believe. The problem is, how the hell do you know what that number is? I’m 45, so I need to plan for another 45 years, but I could only have a year, or I could live to 105, no one knows. Having a paid off house is a great plan, but I have a 2.625% rate, so does it make sense to pay it off when not much is going to interest? Not really. I don’t really have any other personal debt, so that’s cool. Let’s just say I get the house paid off and for the sake of a number say I set a goal of 2 million and hit it. Awesome, so I have no bills, other than utilities and essentials and hopefully am able to pull a halfway decent return on that 2 million. The issue is that things cost more money over time. If you pull 8% return from your money, 160k per year, that seems like a good amount to live on for possibly the rest of your life right? Well, go back in time 30 years, so 1992. How much was rent? Gas? a new car? a snickers bar? If what I’m trying to figure out now was being done by someone in 1992, maybe their number was a million and no debt. Considering the same 8% return they would be living on 80k. Not too bad I suppose, but they wouldn’t be living the life they thought they would because 80k now doesn’t buy now what it did in 1992. It sure as hell will have less purchasing power 10 years from now. So what’s the answer? Maybe I need to double whatever number I think I need? That requires working harder and longer to get that number, at which point I will have less years left in my life, so I don’t need as much after all. And then you add in the thought that maybe I want that bucket list Ferrari or to buy a boat and travel around south America. So maybe I need more than I think.
I just wish there was some level to beat, like in a video game. Like the moment you beat Bowzer and then the game was over. You could sit back and say you were done, you beat the level and achieved the goal. I want to beat the game. But what if playing the game keeps you going? Maybe you can’t beat the game and once you do the game ends?
I’m going to continue pondering this and how to get to the finish line. As I typed this out and put it on paper, I think I am possibly more unsure than I was before. Usually writing it all out puts it in perspective, but not this time.
doing it different 